Wondering...

I moved to Crawley the same year as Sinead O’Connor’s hit “Nothing compares to you” was top of the pops (remember that?). It was a song with a haunting melody about how hard it can be when a relationship breaks down. Sinead O’Connor went on to have a successful music career. Sadly, this week, she was found dead in her home. She was younger than me. Many tributes to her have talked about how talented she was, how she was courageous in speaking out on issues about which she felt strongly. Many have said what a loss she is, not only to the music industry, but to the wider world too. What has emerged is that she was troubled in many ways. And understandably so. She experienced a difficult family life, spent some time in a Magdalene asylum, lost her mother in a car accident when she was 18 and struggled with her self esteem. She ripped up a photo of the Pope live on TV in the USA and got banned for life from that station. She became a priest in the Irish Orthodox Catholic and Apostolic Church (a sect not recognised by the Catholic Church). She spoke out against child abuse (out of her own experience). She converted to Islam and changed her name. Her son died by suicide, a tragedy from which she evidently never recovered. And my wondering is: what does God do with someone like Sinead O’Connor? I guess there are many answers to that question, depending on how you understand God. I want to think that God has a heart for people like Sinead O’Connor. People who had a difficult time when they were young. People who are desperately trying to find their way through life that is hard and cruel, tragic and unfair. People who seek God, but maybe find him in places different to the places I think he should be found. I think that God wants to save everyone and that he can save anyone however he likes. It will always be because of what Jesus did, But God is, well…God. Isn’t he? No doubt some people will be upset by my wonderings. That’s ok. You can have you’re own. And whatever I might wonder, God is, well…God! And, in a twist on Sinead O’Connor’s massive hit song, nothing compares to God! So I’m happy to leave my wondering with God.