Death

Sorry…..that’s not a very welcoming title is it? No. It isn’t. But here’s the thing: I’ve taken a lot of funerals in the last few weeks, and I’ve still got more to do. Two today in fact. And then on Saturday, I’ll spend the day at a church in Redhill because I’m organising the Time to Remember service for East Surrey Hospital. The hospital invites the families and friends of everyone whose loved died, to a service to remember their loved one. It’s a huge task to ‘phone every family and to organise a service. Last year about 150 people attended, and, although I don’t know, it wouldn’t surprise me if there are more this year. Some people will come back and there will be new people. In the midst of this, I spend time with those whose loved ones have died in my counselling work with St. Catherine’s Hospice. Everyone deals with a death differently. No two funerals are the same. But, it sometimes seems that every death is a surprise! In some ways, that’s not true, but in other ways it is absolutely true. Some deaths are “expected.” When someone is old, or ill we know it’s coming, even if not exactly when. Some deaths are tragic. Some are cruel. Some deaths are a relief. Some are absolutely not. For anyone. As I’m writing this, I’m very conscious that right now, far more than I want to acknowledge, there are many deaths happening that are tragic, unfair, unjust and unnecessary. I’m thinking particularly of Gaza and Ukraine. I simply can’t get my head around what’s happening. I mostly can’t bring myself to watch the news because I don’t know how to process it all. Somehow, somewhere, there’s the belief (if that’s even what it is) that the way to bring about peace is to kill the enemy. I’m not sure what to do with that. I don’t understand how we got to that, and that’s not a statement about the history. There’s a lot of death around. And that’s problem for us isn’t it? Death is the big challenge to being human. We can’t stop it, and sometimes we bring it on ourselves or others. I’m wondering where the good news is, if indeed there is any. I have now wish to be trite, but there is one piece of truth that might be good news. We’re about to celebrate Christmas. There’s song about Christmas that has these words: “the baby born to die.” We know that story well: the baby in the manger will be the man on the cross, the man of the empty grave. And here’s the good news: death is not the problem to God that it is to us. I’m not sure I understand that in it’s entirety, but I understand it enough to believe that God has a better handle on it than me. Death, that is. So, in all my uncertainty, my questions and my wondering, I can trust that God can deal with death. For everyone. However it comes and whenever it comes. So, in all my angst, uncertainty and wondering about death, I can say thank God for we’ll be celebrating Christmas again soon. Celebrating the baby born to die.