Looking back

It’s almost forty years ago! I was asked by the then leader of Nefyn Beach Mission if I’d join the team that year. Everything in me wanted to say “No!” Both my sister and my brother had been part of beach mission teams, so why would would I want to do what they’d already done? I didn’t. And neither did I want to go on a beach, in the summer, and upset all the people enjoying their holiday! Everything in me wanted to say, “No!” The only reason I said yes, was because of who asked me. Chris was, at that time, the curate of the church I’d grown up in. We’d begun conversations when I was struggling, and he’d talked to me abut my dad. Nobody had ever done that. I liked Chris. He was on my side. But then he asked me to go on the beach mission team with him in the summer. Perhaps because I’m weak, perhaps because I have a strong people pleasing part, perhaps because I thought it would be rude to say no, I found myself saying yes. So, later that year, in the summer, I went with Chris to Nefyn to be part of a beach mission. It turned out to be somewhat significant. I found myself enjoying what I thought I’d hate. I found I had gifts I didn’t know I had because other people saw them. I met fabulous people from all over the country. I met amazing children, young people and adults. I was hooked. Ove the next fourteen years a lot happened. I became the leader of a Scripture Union Beach Mission with a team of over fifty people. I met a lovely young lady called Lisa, who became my wife (we’ve been married over thirty years now). I grew in leadership and because of that I am now doing what I’m doing, and have been doing for the past twenty seven years. Saying “Yes!” to Nefyn is responsible for quite a lot it turns out. And, when I look back on it, I would probably say that God was in it. That God was in the invitation to join a beach mission team. I think we do that a lot. I think we look back at events, or circumstances and see God in them. And I especially think we do that with the times in life that we would probably describe as the more challenging times. I cant count how many times someone has said something like: “I couldn’t see God at the time, but now as look back, I can see his hand in what happened.” I understand that. I understand why we do it. Even if we’re wrong! Ooops. You weren’t expecting me to say that were you? You weren’t expecting me to say we look back and see God, when maybe, that’s not what happened. Hmmmm. And here’s the really challenging bit: maybe we see that in the Bible too. Oh dear! Maybe, some of the writers of the Bible were looking back at events and they read God into it, when it might have been different. Whoah! I’m not saying that God isn’t present and I’m not saying that God can be at work even when we don’t, and can’t, see it. And sometimes it is only when we e look back that we have any chance of seeing what God has been doing. All I’m saying is that, maybe sometimes what we think God was doing as we look back, isn’t what God was doing. The point is not that God is absent, but that we don’t always know what God has been doing. Maybe God was in me saying “Yes!” to Nefyn. And it’s a lovely Christian thing to say that as I look back, I can see God in it. But even if he wasn’t, he has worked good in it. You might say that’s the same thing. And you might be right. Truth is, I don’t know! What I do know is that God is able to work in all things. I absolutely believe that. Absolutely. Ok, so here’s the thing: God is at work in ways that I can’t possibly know, and it’s probably far more complex than I want to believe or understand! And does this even matter? Maybe not. Maybe it makes a difference to how I understand God, who he is and how he acts. You may disagree with what I’m musing. That’s ok. But let’s not stop thinking and reflecting! God is still active and present!